La relazione Poliamorosa!

La relazione poliamorosa esclude il possesso, ma non la gelosia, l’invidia e l’infedeltà. Se ti sembra strano che abbia nominato l’invidia, ti anticipo che l’invidia è molto spesso all’origine dell’infedeltà, come spiegherò più avanti nell’articolo. Contrariamente a quanto si vuole credere noi ,femmine, maschi, trans-gender (nominati rigorosamente in ordine alfabetico!) non siamo monogami. All’interno della famiglia fin dalle origini ci sono vari poli affettivi a cui ci leghiamo in modo più o meno intenso: mamma, papà, fratelli, sorelle, nonni, nonne, zii, zie, cugine, cugini. Per chi famiglia non ha, ci sono nuclei sostitutivi all’interno dei quali vivono e agiscono figure sostitutive materne e paterne, fraterne etc. Ovviamente qui non intendo esaminare le affinità e le differenze affettive che si sviluppano all’interno delle diverse realtà. Affermo soltanto che i poli affettivi di riferimento per i neonati sono comunque molteplici e vari e influenzeranno la sua futura vita amorosa. Ti porto qualche esempio, perché la concretezza delle situazioni facilita la comprensione. Anni fa avevo come paziente una bella signora di circa trent’anni che si tormentava , incapace di scegliere fra i due uomini importanti della sua vita. Li amava profondamente tutti e due e si dichiarava incapace di trovare la soluzione al suo dlemma. “Se penso di lasciare uno dei due mi sento amputata della metà di me. Amo entrambi intensamente, l’uno più sul piano fisico, l’altro più a livello intellettuale. Sono sia l’uno che l’altro molto intelligenti e capaci nel loro lavoro: uno è un imprenditore, l’altro un astronomo.” L’ipotesi che le prospettai per aiutarla a comprendere il suo comportamento fu la seguente. I genitori della signora avevano divorziato quando lei aveva appena due anni. Era stata una separazione molto turbolenta e continuava ad esserlo anche dopo il divorzio. Il padre e la madre della paziente continuavano ad accapigliarsi sugli orari, sui periodi di frequentazione, sulle vacanze ,etc, nonostante dovessero attenersi alle modalità stabilite dal giudice. La madre piangeva ogni volta che la bambina andava a casa del padre. Credo che la bambina per sopravvivere abbia messo in atto, inconsapevolmente, una specie di amnesia temporanea selettiva. Quando si allontanava dalla mamma, calava il sipario, la casa materna scompariva dalla sua mente e veniva sostituita dalla casa paterna: una nuova scena, un atto nuovo della sua vita. E l’inverso accadeva quando lasciava la casa del padre. L’amnesia le consentiva così di vivere separatamente un rapporto soddisfacente sia con la mamma che con il papa. Man mano che cresceva la paziente ha continuato a gestire i suoi rapporti affettivi con quella che vorrei definire ” tecnica dell’amnesia selettiva temporanea. ” La paziente è rimasta dunque abbarbicata, senza averne consapevolezza, alla sua tecnica di sopravvivenza infantile anche da adulta e anche nel rapporto con l’analista, isolandosi con lei per evitare qualunque interferenza potenzialmente pericolosa per il suo sistema di difesa. Cercava in ogni maniera di impedire lo svolgersi del lavoro analitico che l’avrebbe inesorabilmente condotta alla consapevolezza della sua tecnica difensiva, rendendola inutilizzabile. Ha infatti abbandonato l’analisi dopo due anni adducendo difficoltà economiche e di tempo. E’ evidente dunque che il lavoro analitico è stato rifiutato perchè in questa relazione poliamorosa i vantaggi ( gratificazioni affettive) erano superiori agli svantaggi ( sofferenza della paziente e dei due uomini ). La relazione poliamorosa comunque è una relazione palesemente narcisistica con un titolare e due o più gregari. Il titolare, uomo o donna, è alla ricerca della relazione amorosa perfetta, riedizione di quella unione totalizzante primaria nella quale nulla si doveva chiedere perchè tutto era dato, ogni desiderio soddisfatto prima ancora di essere manifestato. Questa ricerca ,ovviamente destinata al fallimento, si accompagna a un perenne e sottile senso di insoddisfazione che inquina il rapporto. La relazione poliamorosa può essere condivisa da tutti i soggetti coinvolti sin dall’inizio o essere conosciuta soltanto da uno dei gregari. In questo secondo caso si può parlare di infedeltà soltanto se il soggetto titolare continua a tenere nascosto il nuovo rapporto, proprio perchè la relazione poliamorosa si fonda ” sull ‘amore apertamente condiviso” dei soggetti coinvolti. Ho scritto all’inizio dell’articolo che la relazione poliamorosa esclude il possesso, ma non la gelosia, l’invidia e l’infedeltà. La gelosia e l’invidia sono compagni più o meno tollerati sin dai primi anni di vita: i fratelli lottano più o meno consapevolmente per conquistarsi l’attenzione e l’amore dei genitori e sono inevitabilmente gelosi e invidiosi gli uni degli altri. Chiunque abbia esperienza di relazioni familiari può confermare questa affermazione, perciò non affaticarti a contestarla. Tutti portano dentro alle relazioni amorose, quindi anche nella relazione poliamorosa, le esperienze affettive infantili dei rapporti familiari che non sono esenti da gelosia e invidia. Questi due sentimenti spesso provocano i comportamenti infedeli . L’infedeltà infatti è la punizione che, più o meno consapevolmente, il soggetto geloso o invidioso vuole infliggere al suo amante. Ecco degli esempi banali: se tu sei geloso della tua compagna perchè ti sembra che sia troppo gentile con un tuo amico ,puoi pensare di punirla tradendola con un’altra donna. Oppure se tu sei invidioso del successo lavorativo di tua moglie puoi tradirla per vendicarti di farti sentire inferiore. Gli stessi esempi sono declinabili al femminile: se tu sei gelosa del tuo compagno perchè ti sembra che sia troppo gentile con una tua amica, puoi pensare di punirlo tradendolo con un altro uomo. Oppure se tu sei invidiosa del successo lavorativo di tuo marito , puoi tradirlo perchè ti fa sentire inferiore. Quindi anche la relazione poliamorosa , che sembrerebbe più soddisfacente perchè più libera, in realtà è affettivamente vincolante come la relazione amorosa tradizionale e forse più faticosa.

Di wp_14348898

Rosalba Scavia- psicoanalista Iscrizione all'albo psicologi e psicoterapeuti del Lazio con il n.548 Titoli di studio: Laurea in psicologia Laurea in sociologia

119 commenti

  1. I agree with your point of view, your article has given me a lot of help and benefited me a lot. Thanks. Hope you continue to write such excellent articles.

  2. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

  4. I don’t think the title of your article matches the content lol. Just kidding, mainly because I had some doubts after reading the article.

  7. Right here is the perfect website for anybody who wishes to find out about this topic. You know a whole lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that I personally would want toÖHaHa). You certainly put a new spin on a subject that has been written about for decades. Excellent stuff, just excellent!

  8. After reading your article, it reminded me of some things about gate io that I studied before. The content is similar to yours, but your thinking is very special, which gave me a different idea. Thank you. But I still have some questions I want to ask you, I will always pay attention. Thanks.

  9. Your article made me suddenly realize that I am writing a thesis on gate.io. After reading your article, I have a different way of thinking, thank you. However, I still have some doubts, can you help me? Thanks.

  10. Your article made me suddenly realize that I am writing a thesis on gate.io. After reading your article, I have a different way of thinking, thank you. However, I still have some doubts, can you help me? Thanks.

  16. Thank you very much for sharing. Your article was very helpful for me to build a paper on gate.io. After reading your article, I think the idea is very good and the creative techniques are also very innovative. However, I have some different opinions, and I will continue to follow your reply.

  18. I am a student of BAK College. The recent paper competition gave me a lot of headaches, and I checked a lot of information. Finally, after reading your article, it suddenly dawned on me that I can still have such an idea. grateful. But I still have some questions, hope you can help me.

  21. I may need your help. I’ve been doing research on gate io recently, and I’ve tried a lot of different things. Later, I read your article, and I think your way of writing has given me some innovative ideas, thank you very much.

  23. I may need your help. I tried many ways but couldn’t solve it, but after reading your article, I think you have a way to help me. I’m looking forward for your reply. Thanks.

  24. I may need your help. I tried many ways but couldn’t solve it, but after reading your article, I think you have a way to help me. I’m looking forward for your reply. Thanks.

  25. Due too the truth that both bodily labors combined with common uniting with the
    mind, physique and spiriit can escort the person to an expertise of eternal bliss.
    Clud specialists will escort you thru the installation, arrange and configuration of on-premises funcfions to gett yyou cloud-ready.
    The but-to-be-named street workforce will swnd pairs of walkers to areas
    tthe place college students congregate on campus,
    tasking them to concentrate to certain behavirs too
    assist keep folks protected, Battaglino said. Hiss understanding and
    willingness to help me in anny situastion are a cornerstone
    of my success as the pinnacle of faculty, with out the help and support of
    my family it can be tough to have interaction full-time at college,
    house and household has a great half in offering the power to cope with the challenges.

    Anoyher barrier is the religious leaders of the community, who’re towards the work of girls outside house and
    in opposition to tutorial research, which
    typically compel girls to sleep outside their properties and expose them to fashionable society (Faraj-Felah, 2005; Faraj-Falah, 2018) .
    These are only onee type of safety.

    Also visit mmy web page – דירה דיסקרטית באשקלון

  27. We’re a gaggle of volunteers and starting a brand new scheme
    in our community. Your website provided us with valuable information to
    work on. You have performed an impressive task and our whole group
    might be grateful to you.

    my blog post … dailyuploads.net

  30. QuarkXPress 19.2.55820 Crack is a pre-eminent intent plot appliance that fully supports Dye a flag fonts in SVG, SBIX, and COLR formats. Accord the functionality of Pl insignia Fonts opens new avenues of creativity. The application holds eloquent value globally, postulated its high purchaser rating, making it signally profitable payment professionals.

    QuarkXPress 19.2.55820 Gap + Approve Key Autonomous Download [Latest 2023] The downloading answer for QuarkXPress is principal and should in theory be performed from exclusive websites. Anyhow, a common misstep involves downloading it from inauthentic sites, resulting in the utilization not operating as expected. The QuarkXPress activation lex non scripta ‘common law, which contains germane application details, is of utmost importance.

    The software cannot handle effectively without its activation code. Up to this time, some users take care of to evade this prerequisite through hacking the combination and using it without the inevitable QuarkXPress keygen 2023. Significantly, QuarkXPress 2023 marks a untrodden industriousness milestone in regard to digital publishing to plain designers, facilitating the genesis of yardstick advertisements, deplaning pages, microsites, and more with enhanced efficiency.

    [url=https://www.producthunt.com/@john_lopes3]
    crack kontakt [/url]

  31. QuarkXPress 19.2.55820 Crack is a premier intent plot appliance that fully supports Standard fonts in SVG, SBIX, and COLR formats. Accord the functionality of Dye a flag Fonts opens new avenues of creativity. The operation holds eloquent value globally, postulated its high owner rating, making it first of all beneficial concerning professionals.

    QuarkXPress 19.2.55820 Crack + License Key Autonomous Download [Latest 2023] The downloading prepare as a replacement for QuarkXPress is required and should in principle be performed from superior websites. However, a common mistake involves downloading it from inauthentic sites, resulting in the effort not operating as expected. The QuarkXPress activation jus divinum ‘divine law’, which contains pertinent effort details, is of utmost importance.

    The software cannot handle effectively without its activation code. Still, some users take care of to shirk this precondition by hacking the combination and using it without the necessary QuarkXPress keygen 2023. Significantly, QuarkXPress 2023 marks a latest industriousness milestone repayment for digital publishing to graphic designers, facilitating the creation of labarum advertisements, docking pages, microsites, and more with enhanced efficiency.

    [url=https://www.producthunt.com/@john_lopes3]
    крэк crack [/url]

  32. BS.Player Pro 3.18.243 is a thoroughly acquainted with, feature-laden media trouper that offers a seamless contact with a view viewing movies and videos. The driving soldiers behind its stylishness lies in its intuitive interface and advanced functionalities. BS.Player Pro enables the playing of a varying range of media types, such as films, music, DVDs, TV channels, teletext, broadcast broadcasts, and podcasts.

    The cracked form of BS.Player Pro 3.18.243 provides a unending allow skeleton key, guaranteeing relentless access to all its features without restrictions. This firm and high-performing media actor supports formats like HD, DVD, and AVCHD videos. It also offers capabilities to file live videos from the web and effortlessly access YouTube videos.

    A standout outlook of BS.Player Pro is its work as to automatically call missing codecs during the station method, thereby ensuring a soft playback experience across all video formats. This media trouper repeatedly updates its features to safeguard top-notch performance and widespread compatibility. It even supports unequalled video formats not typically recognized by way of other players.

    [url=https://www.producthunt.com/@john_lopes3]
    system crack [/url]

  33. Grass Valley Edius Pro 10 Keygen is a software mixing designed to further shoot formation on your PC, offering a rank of useful functions. In the days of yore, video editing acclimatized to be a complex mission, but once in a blue moon there are sundry video editing software options that streamline the process. With EDIUS Pro Preoccupied Download, you go the faculties to handle multiple resolutions, immense tracks, and relish in real-time editing capabilities, allowing you to modify anything, anywhere. EDIUS Pro pitch serves as an rare road in behalf of finalizing disseminate account, newsmagazine constituents, studio applications, documentaries, and corporate video content.

    Betray Valley Edius Pro 2023 Crack presents a comprehensive, fast, and usable icon manipulation toolset. It is well-equipped to have newfangled standards, supporting nearly all non-professional formats. Users attired in b be committed to the alternative to try revealed the премиум features in the forefront deciding to upgrade in behalf of the ideal experience. In this Pro version, Squeak Valley has included numerous principal features in its latest update, ensuring your videos gross a experienced finish. Lie-down assured, these features compel ought to been designed by a following with national encounter and mastery in the field.

    [url=https://artistecard.com/cracksoft]
    avitool crack [/url]

  34. يعمل مصنع إيليت بايب Elite Pipe في العراق كمحفز لتطوير البنية التحتية ، حيث يزود السوق بأنابيب البولي إيثيلين عالي الكثافة وأنابيب uPVC والتجهيزات التي تساهم في نمو ونجاح مختلف القطاعات.

  41. Pingback: Backlinks
  42. Pingback: Casino Online
  43. Pingback: ขายบ้านพัทยา
  44. Pingback: สล็อตbetflik

  45. Your article gave me a lot of inspiration, I hope you can explain your point of view in more detail, because I have some doubts, thank you.

  46. Pingback: Hunter898
  47. Pingback: more info
  48. Pingback: luxury pool villas in phuket

  49. Nilus Mühendislik inşaat alanında, konut, işyeri, alışveriş merkezi, endüstriyel tesis ve altyapı projeleri gibi çeşitli projelerde çalışmaktadır. Endüstri alanında, enerji, petrol ve gaz, kimya, madencilik ve gıda gibi sektörlerde faaliyet gösteren işletmelere danışmanlık ve projelendirme hizmetleri sunmaktadır. Enerji alanında, yenilenebilir enerji, enerji verimliliği ve enerji yönetimi gibi konularda çalışmalar yapmaktadır. Çevre alanında, çevre kirliliğinin önlenmesi, çevresel etki değerlendirmesi ve çevre yönetimi gibi konularda danışmanlık ve projelendirme hizmetleri sunmaktadır.

  51. Your article gave me a lot of inspiration, I hope you can explain your point of view in more detail, because I have some doubts, thank you.

  52. TED Ajans, dijital pazarlama ve reklamın önde gelen bir ismidir. Müşterilerimize etkili dijital stratejiler oluşturarak markalarını büyütmelerine yardımcı oluyoruz.

  55. I’m often to blogging and i really appreciate your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I’m going to bookmark your web site and maintain checking for brand spanking new information.

  56. I’m often to blogging and i really appreciate your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I’m going to bookmark your web site and maintain checking for brand spanking new information.

  57. Your article gave me a lot of inspiration, I hope you can explain your point of view in more detail, because I have some doubts, thank you.

  59. Your article gave me a lot of inspiration, I hope you can explain your point of view in more detail, because I have some doubts, thank you.

  60. I am currently writing a paper and a bug appeared in the paper. I found what I wanted from your article. Thank you very much. Your article gave me a lot of inspiration. But hope you can explain your point in more detail because I have some questions, thank you. 20bet

  62. My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find the majority of your post’s
    to be just what I’m looking for. Would you offer guest writers to write content for you?

    I wouldn’t mind composing a post or elaborating on a number of the subjects you write about here.
    Again, awesome site!

    my page – Pastelink.Net

  77. Hi there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my facebook group?
    There’s a lot of people that I think would really enjoy your content.
    Please let me know. Cheers

  78. all the time i used to read smaller articles or reviews that as well clear their motive, and that is also happening with this piece
    of writing which I am reading at this time.

  82. naturally like your web site however you need to take a look at the spelling on several of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very bothersome to tell the truth on the other hand I will surely come again again.

  85. It is absolutely a fantastic and helpful piece of knowledge. I’m grateful that you just provided us with this useful information. Please keep us informed in this manner. I appreciate you sharing.

  89. The government’s investment in education and workforce development is a smart move. A well-educated and skilled briansclub workforce is the backbone of a strong economy, paving the way for long-term prosperity.

  90. In these turbulent times, international briansclub cooperation is crucial for economic stability. Collaborative efforts between nations to address global challenges, such as trade disputes and the pandemic, can help ensure a more secure and prosperous future for all.

  109. Amazing, blog yang hebat! 🌟 Saya sangat terkesan dengan kontennya yang edukatif dan menghibur. Setiap artikel memberikan pengetahuan tambahan dan menyenangkan. 🚀 Saya benar-benar menikmati membaca setiap kata. Semangat terus! 👏 Sudah tidak sabar untuk membaca konten mendatang. 📚 Terima kasih atas kontribusinya dalam berbagi pengetahuan yang berguna dan mendorong semangat. 💡🌈 Teruskan pekerjaan yang bagus! linetogel 🙌

  113. Well-crafted article! The information is valuable, and I believe incorporating more images in your next articles could be beneficial. Have you thought about that?

I commenti sono chiusi.