La corda al collo della dipendenza

Questa è la dipendenza. Una corda al collo. Hai mai provato la sensazione di avere una corda al collo? E’ la sensazione che prova chi è spinto compulsivamente a mettere in atto un comportamento a cui non può rinunciare. E’ impotente rispetto all’attrazione che questo comportamento suscita in lei/lui e diventa schiava/o di un desiderio irrefrenabile. Con il tempo questa bramosia viene vissuta come uno stato di mancanza insopportabile, che può essere annullata solo con la soddisfazione del bisogno. E la soddisfazione del bisogno procura anche sensazioni piacevoli e gratificanti nonostante le conseguenze negative. Non solo. La dipendenza psicologica, essendo incanalata in un unico pensiero ossessivo, permette di non sentire e non pensare . Cosa non da poco, visto la tendenza molto diffusa oggi di rifuggire dal pensare per adagiarsi in un comodo “non pensiero” “in un parlare per luoghi comuni” ” in giudizi che sono chiaramente pregiudizi” etc. ( vedi l’ uso ottuso dei social e dell’anonimato). Tra l’altro, anche l’uso smodato dei social e di internet può diventare dipendenza, infatti la dipendenza psicologica si sviluppa proprio attraverso l’esposizione frequente e costante allo stimolo. Vediamo dunque quali sono le cosiddette nuove dipendenze o dipendenze psicologiche. a) Shopping compulsivo b) Esercizio fisico compulsivo c) Mangiare compulsivo d) Gioco d’azzardo compulsivo e) Sesso compulsivo f) Ricerca di informazioni compulsiva) g) Uso di internet compulsivo h) Piccoli atti autolesionisti compulsivi ( strapparsi ciocche di capelli, piccoli tagli su braccia o gambe) i) Dipendenza affettiva compulsiva (pensiero concentrato continuamente su una persona anche quando questa ti ha lasciato).

Shopping compulsivo : esci per comprare una penna e torni a casa con tutta la cartoleria! Esci per acquistare una giacca e rientri a casa carica di buste delle boutiques più in voga! Devi avere tanti soldi per permetterti queste spese……Invece no. C’è la carta ! La carta tanto comoda che ti consente di accumulare debiti fino a che la banca ti da un ultimatum! Ma anche questo non ti ferma, chiedi soldi in prestito, fai debiti con gli strozzini con le conseguenze che tutti conosciamo. Shopping compulsivo, dipendenza che provoca la tua rovina finanziaria oltre a compromettere i tuoi rapporti sociali e le tue relazioni affettive. Non ti ricordi quando è incominciata la storia, nè perché, ma adesso vorresti liberarti di questa schiavitù e non sai come fare e oltre tutto non sai con chi parlarne perchè ti vergogni. Comprensibile ma non utile. Invece utile è trovare il coraggio di pensare. “Pensare” è il primo passo coraggioso verso la libertà. Soprattutto circoscrivere il pensiero all’atto stesso dell’acquisto, alla sensazione provata, eccitazione? Cosa succede dentro di te mentre stai comprando, ti senti importante? soddisfatta? Immagina per un attimo di non poter più acquistare niente, come ti senti? Continua questo lavoro di auto-osservazione fino a che ti sentirai abbastanza forte da sopportare l’atroce sensazione di vuoto, che man mano ti invade e che per anni hai allontanato da te, riempiendolo con i tuoi acquisti sconsiderati. Quando esperimenterai il tuo coraggio e la tua forza, allora ti accorgerai che sei finalmente libera. Poi se mi chiedi qual’è l’origine di questo vuoto, ti posso dire che le ipotesi al riguardo sono molteplici, da un” rapporto- non-rapporto” con la madre o figura sostitutiva, a una madre anaffettiva, o perfezionista, a una relazione genitoriale conflittuale che comunica senso di precarietà, alla morte precoce di uno dei due genitori, o divorzio dei genitori.

Questa è la prima parte dell’articolo sulle nuove dipendenze, articolo che continuerà con la descrizione delle altre dipendenze cosi come sono state precedentemente elencate . Ti sarei grata se volessi scrivermi quello che pensi al riguardo.

Di wp_14348898

Rosalba Scavia- psicoanalista Iscrizione all'albo psicologi e psicoterapeuti del Lazio con il n.548 Titoli di studio: Laurea in psicologia Laurea in sociologia

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